Liquid Shit In A Pot

Fuel Chocolate Instant Porridge. Just don’t do it. It’s probably one of the worst things I’ve ever eaten. Second to only aubergine soup. It has the texture of chocolate flavoured dog sick.

My brain struggled to cope with whether to chew it or swallow it. Like when you take a swig from a bottle of milk that’s turned. Which would be nice than this shit. Shit would also be nicer. High protein and high fibre can only mean one thing: it’s gonna be shit and make you shit. Like you’ve never shitted before. It also sticks like shit to everything. The roof of your mouth, your teeth, the spoon, your clothes and will most probably not stick to your insides as it gushes around your internals looking for a swift exit. I’m not even sure if it’ll look for the correct exit either, probably opting for the closest thing to an exit hole as I feel it’s repeating on me and trying to come back up and be a match for the previously mentioned chocolate flavoured dog sick. I can compare this only to the bad smokey bacon I ate the other week. The burping it’s produced is similar and the bubbling and gurgling my body is producing is near identical. If you see this product in store please do not get duped by the code name “porridge” as it’s as far from porridge as porridge can be.

So help me god, may I not shit myself today...

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