A couple of weeks ago I placed an advert on a Facebook forum for single people that enjoyed the great outdoors. The advert ran something like this:Free to a good home: A mildly irritating 45 1/2 year old male human. Takes lots of bad selfies and thinks he’s the bees knees. Laughs at his own jokes more than you will. Can cook and look after himself, although has been known to wear his pants two days in a row. Nice smile, good heart, needs a haircut. Has a few issues with body breakdowns, but bills are covered. Comes complete with his own motorised cage.
I wasn’t expecting much response, but it went a bit crazy! I started to wonder what I’d done when at the last innings a comment caught my eye! A huge grin appeared on my face and a frenzy of replies ensued, moving over to messenger for the remainder of the night! I was instantly hooked, this gorgeous woman tugging at my heart strings, conversation flowed with ease. I was smitten!
Messages flowed back and forth, 3, 4 and 5 hour phone calls followed. It was like speed dating but with just two people, finding out everything about each other just by talking. Lots and lots of talking. Now you may think we’re both nuts, a bit cray cray, gone soft between the ears. Well you’d be right. But hear me out here. I reckon we learned more about each other through those messages, phone calls and video chats than we would have in three months of dating! With traditional dating, it’s meet someone in a boozer, grab their number, maybe have a snog. A few days later make a call and arrange to meet again in the pub or maybe a meal. Same thing follows again. And perhaps again. Maybe something comes of that, maybe it doesn’t. A few weeks later another date and so it goes on. We knew so much about each other over the following week that it felt like we’d known each other for years!
Over the duration, we spoke many times of meeting each other, finally seeing face to face. Wondering if it would ever happen. There was almost 200 miles between us, and something told me “So what. It’s just a few hours drive. What ya gonna do son? Sit there with your thumb up your arse all day, again? Get your Harry Chum down there and show ya face mate!” So during one of our phone calls, I said “when we meet, I’ll give you 4 hours notice” as we had previously agreed to not actually plan anything as things could happen and ruin it. Well Valentine’s Day morning I said “Remember that 4 hours notice I said about? Well here’s 8”
I was so excited a little bit of wee came out! And a couple of farts. I set off for the trip early afternoon and was surprised at how calm I was. Maybe having a wee in my pants chilled me. I only stopped three times for coffee and four times for a poo. I’m such a catch eh?
Well this beautiful woman has captured my heart. We’ve walked and talked the miles away, we’ve laughed and giggled and thrown stones in the sea, made smiley faces on the sea wall, got drowned in wet windy walks, carried a washed up plank of wood around for hours and she has laughed at and with me on many, many occasions! Well, practically every 30 seconds I’ve tripped, slipped and bumped my way around her life and I think she likes me, because I give her that wink and she gives me that grin
Kerry, may I never make you stop smiling!
If there’s something you want to do, then as Nike say, Just Do It. What have you got to lose? If you keep putting things off then they just won’t happen. I took the leap and went for it and boy am I glad I did! And she found me in an advert
To Infinity! And Beeeeeyoooond!