A Bit Absent But A Fixed Brain

Oooohhhh where to start! It’s been a massively busy few weeks for me which is why I haven’t been posting much, so please forgive me. Forgive me gently though, don’t be getting out the pitch forks or owt will ya! I decided to step back for a few weeks as I was signed off from my EMDR therapy after many long hard emotional sessions, and my PTSD has been put back in its place! I am now proudly PTSD free!

I needed to give my brain a chance to deal with all the “normal” feelings that most people take for granted every day, the normal nightmares and dreams, the normal emotions, the standard highs and lows of everyday life. It’s a weird feeling and has taken some adjustment, believe me! But as I say, it seems I’m fixed! I’ll talk more in-depth about EMDR another day though.

Last week I gave myself a week to strip my van interior and rebuild. Almost without any calamities, disappointingly. But I did manage to nail my thumb to the piece of wood I was working on with a nail gun, and I think that made up for a few calamities all at once. I couldn’t reach the cutters either so had to pull my thumb off the Brad nail myself and when I say I felt fucking sick, I mean it it made a weird crunching noise along with like a slurp. Turned my stomach, I’ll tell thee

Anyways, I did the refit. And it’s awesome! I still have a snagging list more complicated than Boris Johnson's COVID rules, but I’m slowly tripping my way through them. The biggest one is the bunk I built for the youngest. The mattress is too thick and when I threw him up there at bedtime his nose was so close to the ceiling his breath formed rain like condensation on the only uninsulated bit of the van which then proceeded to drip on him like a spring shower There’s one or two screws that need filing down where they’re too long and poke through the other side, ready to tear ones skin if you so much as dare to even look at them and splinters, they’re everywhere! Although there can’t be many left as my boys seem to have found fifty seven thousand million of them... I need to make a couple of cupboard doors too, and Kerry is going to sort my cushions out amongst other things. I literally cut the old ones in half to fit with my Morkniv bushcraft knife. Straight through the covers, foam, the lot. But they fit. Ish.

I've been to a few campsites with the boys lately, and stayed on a couple on my own too. They've had an incredible time, I think. They've bottle fed lambs, fed tiny 1 week old piglets and watched chickens lay eggs. Brayden pissed himself with delight when I let him cook the bacon for breakfast, and Marshall is now firmly a vegetarian. It was a working farm after all, and he didn't like the idea of his favourite ribs coming from the smelly pigs in the fields around us!Next up is axe wielding training I think. Won't be long before I have them catching my breakfast as well as cooking it!

That's about it for now, whilst I compile a plethora of mishaps and failed adventures for another day, so please stay with me and keep checking back as I have some wonderful blogs waiting to be written!

Big love as always, CS

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